At home I worked in a busy emergency department and I used to always think "If I can work in this ER, then I can do anything." I think I can say the same of this experience, "If I can be this far away from my home, family, and all the normalities and comforts of my life back in the states for this long, then I can do anything," although not by my own strength.
Being here has presented its own unique set of difficulties and challenges, but I am thankful for them. I'm thankful for them because they have pushed be deeper in my faith and allowed me to grow in ways I would have never been able to grow if I had stayed home. Being stripped of all the constants and comforts of home pulled me out of a complacent state I had been living in, and brought me to a place where my dependency on God became very apparent.
As my time here in Madagascar is nearing an end, I have found myself trying to process what all I've learned and will take away from this time spent in Madagascar. I am just in the beginning steps of processing and I am sure it will take me a long time to digest this whole experience. Here are some thoughts, insights, and moments I'll remember always (in no particular order)...some trivial and others not.
1. Friendships run deep in this place. Here, friends become your family. They are the kind that last a life-time.
2. Sometimes, there is wisdom in silence.
3. Seek out people and things that are life-giving to you. You need to be filled, not drained.
4. Love is a universal language. You don't have to speak the same language to show someone you genuinely care for them.
5. I wish I knew a second language; it's such a beneficial skill to have. Many of our Malagasy friends here put me to shame knowing English, French, and Malagasy.
6. People who have less (monetarily and materialistically) often times give the most.
7. I've witnessed unmatchable beauty and strength in my patients here...our goiter gals come straight to my mind on this one.
8. "The simple business of surviving is not easy. It's hard work." This was spoken by a crew member who recounted taking a patient back to his village after his surgery.
9. "Small" does not equal "insignificant."
"There are many people who can do big things, but there are very few who will do the small."
- Mother Theresa
10. The sense of community amongst the Malagasy people here still astounds me. I watch in our open ward as the baby of the patient in bed 6 starts to cry, and the mother from the patient in bed 10 goes over to hold her, sooth her, and give the mom a rest. I watch as the mom of the patient in bed 1 tucks in the patient in bed 2 just as if she were her own child. I watch as they converse, laugh, and do anything to help each other out. And I think, "People at home would never do this...they only care about themselves." There is something to be learned here.
11. Life keeps moving on even when I'm not at home. Situations change. People change.
12. Change is hard, and I've learned that I'm not a fan of it. But it is also necessary and good.
13. I am a true introvert at heart; and that's ok. And finding a quiet space to be alone on this ship of 400 people is a hard feat.
14. The gut-wrenching reality that patients of mine have been sent home with a cancer diagnosis and an "I'm sorry but we can't help you." As this ship is a strictly surgical ship and is not fully equipped with all the latest western treatments of chemo, radiation, etc. to treat cancer patients, people are turned away. And it's heart-breaking.
15. I will not be eating rice or grilled-cheeses for a very long time when I return home.
16. You don't need a reason to help people.
17. Hearing my patient's stories and of the hardships they've been handed in this life has caused me to ask "Why God? Why do you allow such terrible and devastating things to happen to such precious people?" It has caused me to question my faith in a way I've never questioned it before. Knowing about suffering and witnessing it in real life, in the lives of people I have come to love, are two entirely different things.
18. Being brought back to the truth, that God is always good and always just... even when it is not visible to my eyes.
19. Being brought back to the truth that His ways and thoughts are higher than my ways and thoughts, and there will be things that I will never fully understand this side of heaven.
20. Sea-sickness is a real thing. And it's awful.
21. Realizing how not-in-control I really am. When hard things happen at home and I'm physically not there to "do" or "fix" anything, I realize how little control I really have.
22. Prayer is powerful and important.
23. I value my space. It can be hard to share a small cabin with 5 other girls... even with the best of cabin-mates.
24. As a friend put it, "we are living in a social experiment." Living with, working with, and hanging out with the same bunch of people is not a very natural thing. It's a unique experience.
25. I will never forget King Francis's smile. Francis is a patient here on the ship. He got a hold of the crown from the game "Pretty, Pretty Princess"... bring back memories for anyone? And he's been wearing it ever since, and is now referred to by all as King Francis. Sweet kid with a sweet smile. One of a kind.
26. I will never forget Zoeline's laugh. What a pistol.
27. I will treasure "Thankfulness Thursday" on E Ward. Initially, every Thursday we would go around and the nurses and day crew would share something they were thankful for at shift change. Later in the year, we began sitting in the middle of the ward and including our patients. It brought tears to my eyes to hear our patient's voices of thanksgiving.
28. Coca-Cola taste better in Madagascar. Real sugar.
29. It's illogical that people leave their homes and jobs to come to a place to not just volunteer, but pay to work. It doesn't make sense... it shouldn't work. But it does. And it's totally worth it.
30. I have seen and learned about things here that I have never seen or heard of before in a hospital at home.
31. I will never forget Tina who had his arm amputated after having a severe infection... such a severe infection that I'm still amazed he's still on this earth. I will never forget how the whole ward clapped for him and cheered him on when you got up out of his bed for the first time after surgery.
32. Experiences and memories are more important than "things."
33. I'm thankful for the most supportive, encouraging, and loving family.
34. Good salad dressing is a prized possession.
35. Journaling has been a good outlet for me.
34. Good salad dressing is a prized possession.
35. Journaling has been a good outlet for me.
"I write because I don't know what I think until I read what I say"
36. I want to continue to be involved in this mission. And it won't always manifest in me being physically on this ship, though I would like to come back some day.
37. I really love hearing all the different accents of people from all over the globe.
38. I have respect for people living this life of people constantly coming and going. This part of ship life has been hard for me and I've only been here 8 months.
39. The sea does something good for this soul. I will miss living on the water.
40. I take our healthcare system in the states for granted. Yes it has its flaws and yes people take advantage of it, but at least there is a system.
41. I take a lot of things for granted, and I am reminded that people live very differently than I do. I've been richly blessed.
42. I will miss hearing the sweet sounds of the VVF ladies singing in unison in the hallways.
43. God will always accomplish His purposes... and He has graciously allowed us to be a part of His great work.
"As the rain and the snow come from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it."
Isaiah 55: 10-11
44. Simply being asked "are you doing ok?" means more than you know.
45. I will miss hearing all the kiddos singing on the ward "I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it. I like to move, move it. I like to MOVE IT" while watching Madagascar.
46. Being overwhelmed with the amount of trust our patients place in us. I can't imagine walking onto a ship, with people who don't look like me, who don't speak my language, and trusting that they will do what they say they will do, free of charge. I am doubtful I would have that same kind of bravery.
47. Seeing the transformation in Hanta. She is one of those I will never forget.
48. I never thought a nursing job could involve painting nails, coloring pictures, and playing Jenga. But true healing involves more than just medically treating our physical body.
49. Laughter is some of the best medicine.
50. Being challenged by a good friend who asked me "Going back to your life back home, how will this experience change you? What will you do with it?"
Lindsey
